Another Epiphany

I used to think I hated kids. And actually....I do. I fucking despise them. However, I have discovered that I hate something more. My reasons for this hatred directly fuel my hatred for children.

I've discovered that I loathe parents. More than anything else on earth. Parents are the root of all evil. Not only do they produce the little fucking mutants that so infuriate me, but they raise them, or rather fail to raise them, and leave me and my tax dollars to do their fucking job for them.

Parents have created the "Cult of the Child". This is, by far, the most subtle, vile, evil thing ever spawned. It allows any intrusion, any violation of privacy, any step whatsoever, so long as it will "protect the children". You know what? Fuck the children. You want your kids to be protected? How about you protect them? Don't try to tell me what the fuck I can or cannot do, or what I can or cannot see. It is not my responsibility to sacrifice for your fucking mutants.

I recently read that a school district banned the game "Tag" as an aggressive contact sport. They banned fucking Tag. A game everyone has played. For decades or perhaps even centuries. All trying to protect children from being hurt. Balls to that. You want to know what teaches better than anything else? PAIN. Pain is the best educator in the world. You want to know why you don't play with fire (although some of you crazy fucks probably do play with fire)? Because you learned that fire is FUCKING HOT and it BURNS YOU. You learned that one the first time you tried to touch it. And the lesson stayed with you.

The point is, parents have so beaten the world with their child worship, that everything is bending over backwards to accommodate these fuckers.

This is absurd.

Profound Discovery

I've recently reviewed my postings on here and discovered a common theme. All of these people that seem to exist to frustrate and annoy me all have one thing in common: Their parents sucked. You know how I know this? Because not a single one of them have basic comprehension skills. You know, the stuff you learn before you go to school? That occurs outside of the six miserable hours the state is required to educate you each day? All that material is basic academics; names, dates, formulas, conjugations, and assorted other crap. By the time you get to school, your parents should have taught you some basic skills on how to live and move in the world. These skills are supposed to improve in time. However, if one never has the skills to begin with, one can't improve them, can they? So really, the problem with the world is that we have generations of idiots raising other generations of idiots.

I don't doubt there is more to it than that, but that is the root cause of a great deal of the bullshit out there.

Why Highways suck

As with most things in the world, this is a pretty obvious answer: because there are people using it.

I took a trip to Flagstaff last weekend to help some friends move. The trip up was two of the worst hours I have ever spent on the highway. Did any of you worthless fucks bother to even show up to Driver's Ed? Or even LOOK AT THE FUCKING MANUAL ONCE IN YOUR LIFE? For fuck's sake, don't park your ass in the passing lane (that's the left lane for those of you morons who don't know - and given what I saw last weekend, that would be ALL of you). Also, when you go to pass another vehicle, FUCKING PASS THEM. Don't kinda sorta maybe pass them. STEP ON THE FUCKING GAS AND GET PAST THEM! Here is another clue for you fatally stupid fuckers: your car contains many convenient devices, like, say, FUCKING MIRRORS. Consider using them. They are amazing devices. They allow you to see in places not directly in front of you. Therefore, you can be aware of your surroundings and see cars to the left and right of you, and traffic behind you. You can use this information to adjust your driving to deal with circumstances as they change. Therefore, you won't cut me off, and you might get out of my when I come up behind you.

God, I fucking hate you people.

Fucktard Central

This was my local grocery store tonight. I went down to the local Fry's for a few items and had to find something to clamp down on before I was even inside the store. Every single example of stupid humanity was there. It was like a fucking bug light. They all just kind of buzzed around, got in my way, and made me hate them in less time then it takes to change a radio station. I couldn't even find a parking space without ignorant assholes pulling out in front of me. There were smokers standing around out front of the store, like Jay and Silent Bob. Only stupider. And real.

Inside the store was no better. I just wanted a couple of sodas and a bottle of milk. 3 items, total. It took me 29 minutes to get back OUT OF THE FUCKING STORE. Why, you ask? That's simple, intrepid reader: the idiocy was more concentrated inside. I grabbed my items and went to stand in line. I guess Saturday night is "Try to Buy your Beer with Food Stamps" night. The woman in question could not understand why she was not allowed to buy shit with my tax dollars. The idiot cashier, who looked like she just fell out her mother last week, certainly couldn't explain it. Given that the line was long and getting longer (because all the scum had to shop at Fry's tonight), I decided to use one of the self checkout stations.

This was a mistake. The line wasn't long for those, but there is a very good reason for that fact. PEOPLE CANNOT FOLLOW SIMPLE VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS. The damn machine doesn't make it hard. It tells you what to do, EVERY SINGLE TIME. In small words. It's really easy to do. Scan, touch the yellow pad, bag the fucking thing. And somehow, this is too hard for people to do.

There are rumblings that World War 3 is starting. After one trip to the local grocery store, I hope these rumblings are true. The peace and quiet will be nice.

So Apparently....

I am about worthless.

So where does that put the rest of you?

FREE AT LAST!

I actually kind of liked my old job. That is, I liked my boss and co-workers (as much as I like anyone these days). The job itself was support. And I HATE SUPPORT. With a passion. An eternal passion that rivals my hatred of children. There is nothing worse than support. I blame support for my misanthropy. I used to like people. Then I spent all day coming up with last minute solutions to impossible problems created by other fucking people. I swear, asking adults to use a computer is like asking a 5 year old to drive the Indy 500, or at least the act like it. These things aren't that fucking hard, you morons. But somehow, they KEEP FUCKING THEM UP. And then it was my job to make it all better. Instantly, you know. Because they had to get back to playing solitaire or surfing for porn right away!

But that is all over now. I am free of support and I will NEVER go back to it if I can help it. I now get to learn all new kinds of frustration in the fascinating world of development. I'm certain I will hate it just as much, but it will minimize my contact with other people.

The only problem is this: I am severely out of practice at development. My skills, such as they were, have atrophied. So this weekend is turning into a cram fest.

I hope its worth it.

Just A Reminder....

...that I hate your kids. And when I say "your kids", I do, in fact, mean YOUR KIDS. It does not matter who you are. If you have kids I hate them. I ESPECIALLY hate them on airplanes. Because nothing makes being trapped in a cramped metal tube for 6 hours better than someone's little fucking mutant screaming the entire way.

Gates of Hell

I am traveling again. I hate Airports. I hate them for multiple reasons. First, an airport is a place where many people congregate. This means more opportunities to interact with every bad habit and stupid human trick that infuriates me. This lasts for hours due to interminable lines punctuated with limitless incompetence. While at Sky Harbor early yesterday morning, I was in line to check in (so that I could get the little slip of paper that allowed me to stand in line for security, so I could stand in line to get on the plane). The moron behind me somehow could not grasp a basic concept from physics: two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Wherever I put my luggage, he tried to put his. Only after mine was there. For like 5 minutes. I think he finally got the hint when I kicked his suitcase over.

Second, all an Airport does is allow me to get crammed like a motherfucking sardine into a shiny metal tube with a ton of other people. This seems like such a great idea. Let's put a hundred rude, obnoxious and idiotic people into tiny, cramped seats, and then make them stay there for 6 hours. I am amazed there are fewer instances of assault on planes.

Everytime I fly these days, I feel like Ed Norton's character in Fight Club. I can see the roof of the plane peel off, and a feeling almost like relief washes over me. But then I remember that I have bills to pay, and go back to trying to sleep.

And I have to do it all again. Tomorrow. At O'Hare. If most airports are like Hell, O'Hare is what they imitate.

I think I start driving everywhere soon. At least I can yell at other travelers without being arrested.

I'm back!

It's been awhile, and I've been busy, so I'm not sorry about not posting in this space.
You try doing your master's degree and working overtime and see how much you like it.

Why the fuck am I justifying myself to you assholes?

Anyway, there has been plenty to frustrate me lately, and the fires of my hatred for anything with 46 Chromosomes burn brighter than ever.

So now that I have some time, I will feel free to start reminding you all of how much you all suck, and how much nicer the world will be if I don't have to share it with you.

You may now resume your drab, wretched lives.

In Reponse to Commentary

A Reader, John, made the following comment:

Ah.. but there's the differentiation between PARENTS (I had a set) and BREEDERS (whom I see very often, varying from allowing their kids to open and play with toys in the store to evil-eyeing you if you don't kiss their kiddies asses).

Kind of frightening to realize I have no progeny, yet my behavior towards children is better than 90% of the actual 'parents'(breeders)

I posted this response in comments, but felt it needed to be shared with both other people who read this thing:

The distinction is drifting into non-existence. I acknowledge that there were, once upon a time, these mythical "parents" of which you speak. However, those are extinct. The act linked seems like a perfectly fucking reasonable alternative to controlling your fucking children. If you cannot outwit your kids, you have no business having them.

This is another reason why the world is doomed. Those smart enough to raise kids don't fucking want them. Each generation becomes more and more stupid. Soon, the world will be populated by porch sitting, banjo-playing, sister-fucking freaks. I just home that a comet strikes us before then, or HN51 is a million times worse then predicted.

I am not an environmentalist, but this is the time I wish that the Earth actually had consciousness. And an anti-body system, to deal with the likes of the scum spreading across it. I am not about saving the planet. I could give a flying fornication at an undulating pastry about the planet. I just hate having to share it with 6.2 billion morons, and breeding more all the time.

You know what? The whole thing is going into the regular post. More people need to read this.

Not like they will, because the place does not get much traffic, and I don't think anyone will make it past the pre-amble.

He has a point. There is a distinction. But there are maybe 5 of them left walking the earth at this point. Those kinds of parents are like California Condors at this point. They are just as rare, and just as ugly to the rest of the world. Because we all know its someone else's fault if your little mutant is not the perfectly obedient mini-adult you expect them to be.

And parents, in case you are wondering, you are not one of the 5.

This warms my heart

I think more teachers should engage in this activity in their classroom. Lord knows the little fucking mutants deserve it.

I recall a line from Night Court (an old sitcom for those of you who need to STFU) about children being kept in cages until they were 17.

I think its a dandy idea. It would keep them from being anywhere near me, and I might actually forget that they exist.

That would make me much happier, yes.

Why I Hope The Flupocalypse Strikes Parents First

I hate parents. There are few things more precious in the world then liberty. Your child's innocence is not one of them. Particularly when they are 16 and probably know more about freaky sex then you do.

Parents are one of the world's best arguments for the destruction of mankind. I certainly believe that the moment one becomes a parent, their IQ is quartered. Given how amazingly idiotic people are, this is never a good thing. I do not know where you fucking people get the idea that everything in this world has to be subservient to the interests of your child. Its my fucking world too assholes. And I don't care about your kids. In fact, I hate them, because you use them to justify shutting down anything that makes you uncomfortable. Your lack of faith in your offspring is so great that you have to fight the world to get them to behave rather than teaching them. That's really it. You cannot teach your children, particularly about all the stuff that makes you uncomfortable, so no one is allowed to see it or do it.

You fucking make me sick.

This is why there should be a license to procreate. We could certainly neutralize the population growth problem if 99% of you fuckers popping out little fucking mutants were stopped.

Fuck Republicans

I say this one with impunity, because I used to be one. Seriously, you people have to be the most worthless pieces of shit to walk the earth. How any single one of you fucks can justify this? And this shit is only the tip of the motherfucking iceberg? I thought you fucks were in favor of smaller governement, and less interference in one's own business? Since when did that equal domestic spying? I'm sorry, I confused you with a CONSERVATIVE. You miserable, todaying, money grubbing, lying, hypocrital fucks are certainly not conservative. You are all about power and wealth, and concentrating it into as few hands as you can manage. What happened to fiscal responsibility? Nope, gotta toss that aside to pay for a bullshit war that we didn't even need to fight. And don't even try to justify that one. You've sacraficed over 20,000 American lives so you can feel like you have balls. They didn't defend our freedom, and I feel bad for them that they were sacrficed on the altar of your ego. And to try and cut spending, you cut penny-ante shit that does nothing but hurt people and actually doesn't reduce our spending one iota. It just slows its rate of increase. Barry Goldwater is rolling in his grave.

Party of Freedom, my ass.

Been Busy.

So Fuck Off. I've learned to hate Text Mining. I've finally found two instructors in my Master's program who completely merit a horrible fate. I've taken numerous useless trips to help people who don't deserve it and don't even appreciate it.

All in all, its been like every other year, just with more air travel.

Don't even get me started on that. Air travel should be placed on the Geneva Convention as a method of torture. There is nothing worse then being forced to stand in line after line filled with screaming children and idiots who can't be arsed to read anything before bothering to fly. I love having to show up 3 hours before a flight just to get through security in time. This security, by the by, does nothing more then provide fake jobs for high school drop outs and people too stupid to be security guards. It certainly doesn't make us anymore secure. In case you missed the point, 9/11 was the LAST time anyone will be able to hijack a plane with Americans on it. I'm pretty sure the next group that tries is going to get beat down by a single mom with her little fucking mutant transport system (baby carriage). So don't try to tell me that this shit is important. It doesn't stop anything actually dangerous from getting on a plane, like a motherfucking bomb. Did you know that they recently tested the security measures and were able to smuggle the parts to a bomb on 21 times? You know how many times they tried? 21 times. That's right, assholes. Every time they wanted to get something on, they did.

So the TSA isn't actual security, its employment for walking Soylent Green.

Goddamn Researchers

Look at this shit. The fuckers went and ruined a perfectly good apocalypse. I was looking forward to seeing millions of fucktard humans dying in the streets and someone has to come along and invent a cure. Son of a bitch!

Everytime I'm certain that nature will finally do the job for us, I am reminded of our species similarity to roaches. You just can't kill us off entirely. This is not through any particular merit, mind you, but just dumb luck. What a downer.....

Another Word to Our Cycling Friends

Did you guys ever learn how to fucking read? Thanks to the dilligent work of one of my readers the following interesting legal tidbits come to light:

Suck It.
Blow Me.
Shut the Fuck Up.
Get Off The Fucking Road, you twats.
And finally, PWN3D!

God, it feels great to be so fucking right.

So, back to my original point, now with added legal supporty goodness, you people need to learn what the fuck you are doing, and not try to argue with two tons of steel. Because even if you are right, you will still lose the argument. Not like that would make me shed any tears mind you, but the repair bills would suck furiously.

Now get off the road, you freaks.

Drinking the Kool Aid

Conservatives.

Where the fuck did they go? And don't try to tell me to look around. Those fucks in the GOP are NOT conservatives.

Do you see smaller government? Do you see greater personal liberty?

If you do, stop drinking the motherfucking Kool Aid.

It seems like this has become the greatest past time these days. No matter what UNBELIEVABLE line of bullshit comes from the GOP, its accepted as gospel by most people. I knew you people were fucking stupid. Hell, the damage done to my teeth as I grit them to keep my mouth shut is a testimony to humanity's never ending ability to be dumber then all fuck. But this kind of shit? You MUST be kidding.

Oh, wait, you aren't. God dammit.

Housing

So, time was, I used to be able to get someplace to rent within a day or so of looking.

When the fuck did rental property get to be the hot thing? I mean, really?

You fucks made it impossible to afford a house unless I like getting shot or driving from Casa Grande. Now you make it impossible to even rent a decent apartment.

I hope you have a nasty accident, and your kids get cancer. I hope some hippy burns your McMansion to the ground, JUST BEFORE YOU MOVE IN.

Arizona is a lovely state, if it weren't for all the fucking people.

A Word to Our Cycling Friends

YOU ARE NOT FUCKING PEDESTRIANS. This means you do not get to ride on the sidewalk. The word alone should be enough to clue you fucking hampsters in to the fact. It's a conjunction, from the words side and walk. The first word indicates the object's location, being towards the side or edge of a road. The second word indicates the objects intended purpose, in this case as a place to FUCKING WALK. If you are on a wheeled vehicle of just about any kind, this means you don't get to use a sidewalk for travel.

In case you lemmings don't realize it, let me explain it to you. You are subject to the same laws and regulations as any other motor vehicle. You do not get to use crosswalks. You do not get to ride against traffic on the right side of the street.

And somehow, I'm the one who would get arrested if I ran you over.

Found on a Fark thread this morning:

Good for him for standing up for himself though.

Honestly, there is no real recourse for men who have been wronged.

The courts?

Forget it.

Anyone with testicles is guilty by default.

Self help?

There's no litany of self-help books for men who have been jerked around by women.

Ther's no "Oprah" or "Starting Over" type shows for men.

Just as no dog is born mean, they become mean only after they are abused/mistreated by their owners, when you read some newspaper story about a man who did really bad things (abushed/killed/buried alive, etc) to his wife or ex wife it's not because he was born mean, or born sociopathic.

These are normal, average, well adjusted men most of the time.

Something bad happened to him.

Bad things were done to him.

By a woman.

And he snapped.

Yeah, that about sums it up. Women control every aspect of a relationship, and they use this power in the most insanely stupid fashion. They use it to cruelly abuse those that don't deserver it, and they relinquish it to scum for nothing.

And don't give me any bullshit about the "Nice Guy Syndrome". Ain't no such fucking beast. Many nice guys make their intentions known right out of the gate, and still get used like a fucking utility.

My contempt for the "fairer sex" is directly related to their irresponsible use of their own power. It's infuriating to watch.

So Chun Says

While Fred Durst may be the biggest example of artificial success ever generated by the media, excepting any boy group in existence, he did have on stroke of genius.

I refer, of course, to "Break Stuff". It describes my mood, on any given day, quite accurately. Its the only song worth listening to from Mr. Durst and the clan of no-talent ass-clowns that follow him around and pretend to play music (excepting Wes Borland, who knows how to throw down some kick ass guitar). Like the man said, "Every man is occasionally blessed by luck". Certainly true for Limp Bizkit, or whatever the fuck they call themselves these days.

The song itself especially poingnant today, since I won the game within 15 minutes of arriving at work this morning.


So, yeah, that's how my day started out. How about yours? Oh, wait, I don't give a fuck...

Read This Thread

This one, right there.

Now explain to me why the fuck the south does not deserve to be expunged.

I'm not saying they alone deserve it. But I certainly feel that the world, and the U.S. would be much better off without them.

One way or another, if you like the Stars and Bars, you are supporting a symbol associated HEAVILY with racism. Factual or not, it doesn't matter. Because that is the perception associated with that symbol, by endorsing it, you are endorsing those values.

I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut if you don't like it, or it's historically wrong, or if the war wasn't about slavery, or what. Neither does anyone else. You look like an ignorant hillbilly fuck when you endorse it, regardless of race. Just like a swastika. No one gives a fuck anymore what it means in Asian mysticism. Now, its just a symbol of fascism and genocide. Period. End of statement. Any arguments counter to this are rendered null and fucking void by reality.

You know why there are stereotypes out the South? Because those people FUCKING EXIST. It's not as though this shit was conjured from the middle of nowhere. You see the same thing often enough, you can start to make some well founded assumptions. No, they aren't always true.

But they are true often enough to be worth consideration.

So get off your fucking high horse and get a motherfucking grip.

Sex Kills

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I mean, really, c'mon....

You Do Not Need An SUV

And yes, I mean you. Any of you who drive one of those miserable wastes.
I had an interesting experience with someone driving one of those today. They almost ran my little Honda right over with their Toyota Four-Runner. I noticed this and managed to get out of the way in time and then observed the idiotic culprit. The woman (shock! amazement!) could BARELY SEE OVER THE FUCKING STEERING WHEEL. She looked like she was 12 or something.

Why the fuck would you buy something that you can't see out of? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Never mind, I know the answer.

You have 42 chromosomes.

I hope molded plastic is tasty. Because sooner or later you are going to end up eating that steering wheel, just because you had to have a cool SUV.

Stabby Stabby Fucking Stabby

Yes, the title is stolen. Smarter people then I wrote it. It still conveys my feelings pretty accurately.

I remember an old issue of XFactor written during the height of Peter David's participation in comics (illustrated by a young Joe Quesada, incidentally). In it, he covers an interesting psychological interview with Quicksilver, who tried to render an analogy expressing his frustration and impatience with the human race. The character reminds the psychologist of people who take too long at the ATM, and how that frustrates everyone. He then points out, that is the world he lives in ALL THE TIME. He's dealing with people who move, think, and act a million times slower then he does.

I understand his feeling. No, I'm not smarter or better then the rest of you. I can just see how fucked up we all are, and the frustration is similar, because no one else seems to.

The sad thing is this, to be a misanthrope, one must be an optimist after a fashion. The frustration and rage come from seeing where people could go, and then where they choose to go.

Death Race 2000

So who fucking taught you people to drive, anyway? Boy, you surely do suck.

I made the commute from Phoenix to Tucson this morning. Anyone who drives I-10 in this stretch of the country can tell you that the length between those two cities is as close to hell as you are going to find. Its not too bad when you are inbetween the cities, but get to close to either one, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

What strikes me as funny (okay, it doesn't so much strike me as funny as drive me into a homical rage) is how you think that cutting me off is going to get you to work that much faster. This morning, everytime traffic packed up near an on-ramp, some dumb fuck, which I count as just about everyone, would end up riding the shoulder to get ONE MORE CAR LENGTH AHEAD. I guess creating serious disruptions for the other drivers and magnifying the risk we all take hurtling along like lemmings in shiny metal boxes is worth it. Somehow.

This highlights one of my great complaints about humanity. For all of our talk about community and the human race, all it takes is a minor bit of discomfort or irritation for any of us to be willing to risk serious death or injury to other humans. Freeway and highway traffic is the perfect example of this behavior. People cruise along, doing whatever they like to with no real acknowledgement or observation of how their actions and their behaviors affect those around them. How many times have we seen some fucktard driving 10 miles below the speed limit in the middle lane, completely ignorant of how they disrupt the natural flow of traffic as people coming up behind them are forced to change lanes to continue their travel? Or the useless waste of skin who gets into the left lane on the highway and just STAYS THERE, unwilling to get back into the travel lane out of the passing lane? Were these people completely dead during their driving test? The driving regulations are one of the few human designed systems that would actually work if everyone followed their precepts. However, it's driving is human behavior in microcosm. You may rarely see acts of a good nature, but generally everyone is interested in only themselves.

Fuck off and die, humanity.

Fuck off

I know I haven't posted in a while. I also know that no one really cares if I post or not. Good. Its about time it started to penetrate your stony skulls. I felt certain at least a few of you still had a brain cell or two that you could use to comprehend.

To explain my absence (mostly to myself when I look over the archives later), I simply say I was working. When your career is in IT, that speaks volumes. I love my job. It would be a great job if it weren't for all the fucking users. Why do we let people have computers? I mean really? In this day and age it is almost as dangerous as giving a toddler a loaded weapon. And before any of you NRA nutjobs start mouthing off, I'm not in favor of gun control. In fact, I giggle a little bit evy time someone shoots someone else, regardless of the rest of the story. But, like my forthcoming rant of hate against God and his fanclubs, that one will have to wait for me to give a shit again. Anyway, these people have no idea what they are doing. It's not that they are inexperienced or what not. Some of these people have used a computer for years. How do you use something for years and NOT GET ANY FUCKING BETTER AT USING IT?

Further proof that humanity is waste of perfectly good carbon.

I hope, when we finally do shuffle off the coil as a species, we make good petroleum for some other spieces down the road.

So, to all of you computer incompetents, including those with Doctorates in Engineering, Fuck Off and Die. I am tired of coming up with last minute solutions to impossible problems created by you fucking people.

Dead Babies!

So I’m in class right now.  There is nothing worse then being in class fro 8 hours.  On a Saturday.  And spending the first 3 hours taking an exam.  No exam should take 3 hours.  It’s morally wrong.

Yeah, I know I don’t give a shit about morals.  It just kind of sucks spending my day being bored out of my skull.  This master’s program is normally fairly interesting, but cramming cost accounting into 2 weeks just doesn’t fly.  There are CPA’s that make careers out of this shit.

Anyway, I was thinking about the abortion debate.  I truly do not comprehend why there is a debate.  Of course, I believe there is no Sky Bully, so it might skew my views a bit.  The continued existence of this issue as so divisive is somewhat astounding.

I’m not going to bother pounding out logical reasons for or against abortion.  There are plenty of people out there who spend their lives doing just that.  So if you came here looking for logic or structured arguments, you can just fuck right off.  You are in the wrong place.

Really, who the fuck cares about this?  If this issue motivates you, one way or the other, you have too much fucking time on your hands.  Seriously.  You should realize there is shit out there that actually matters.  Abortion does not matter one fucking iota.  The world goes on.  Society does not end.  We do not end up running with Mad Max if abortion goes on, or if it stops.  

I mean, you know my opinion.  Anything that allows for fewer screaming little mutants is a good thing.  Beyond that, fuck it.  In a world as spectacularly fucked as ours, this is WAAAAAAY down the totem pole here assholes.  Truthfully, its used more as a tool to motivate armies of bored born-again housewives who can’t seem to realize that this shit has happened since the dawn of human civilization.  Sometimes with an established medical procedure, other times with a good quick kick to the gut.  It’s not going anywhere.  Your political party won’t allow it go anywhere, either one.  The GOP certainly won’t, because then a large section of their support might actually pay attention to the rest of their platform and realize what cocks they are.  The Democrats won’t either.  It’s too good at filling the coffers to support resistance against the conservative movements.  Both camps of political representatives (no, I’m not counting Libertarians, because, well, get serious…) use the issue as a hot potato to keep people on the ball or supporting the team.  It’s like a professional sports game.  The team owners don’t care who wins, only that they make ticket sales.  

So guess what, Pro-Lifer retards and Pro-Choice zealots!  Your issue is a political football!  No one you vote for really gives a shit about RESOLVING the actual issue.  You are content to be used to keep these whores in office.

Yet another reason people suck.  Of all the things to put energy into, this is the kind of shit that fires you up and gets you moving.

That and violent video games.

Little Fucking Mutants

So now its all pretty much over.  The holidays are past, and we can face the pain and horror of the new year with...something in our hearts.  This time of the year provides us an opportunity to reflect, and to share those reflections, to share our lives with those about whom we care.  Many people will share little updates about their lives and how their kids are doing and what not.  Which brings me to the point.

No one fucking cares about your kids, except you.

If I had a nickel for every stupid fucking email filled with updates about some loathsome twat’s mutant offspring, I could buy and sell aircraft carriers for fun.  This irritates the living shit out of me.  I didn’t want to know the little shits were still alive, but people just have to fucking share.  If I want to see the next generations mindless automatons, all I need to do is open a window.  Your kids are no fucking different.  I know you like to think that they are wonderful and precious and special.  They just aren’t.  They’re stupid, just like you.  They’re completely self absorbed, just like you.  In fact, the only things that really separate adults from children are the following:

1. Children have more creative lies


2. We have better bladder control

Any other differences are cosmetic, relative, or bullshit.  Sorry folks.  Actually, I’m not sorry at all.  You should be, for having the little freaks in the first place.

Somehow, every holiday season becomes an orgy in the Cult of The Child, where everything must be about the precious little mutant lumps.  Normally I hate children.  During the holidays, I wish I was the 10th plague and we were all Egyptians.  

That guy, who adopted those kids, then kept them in cages?  He had the right idea, only he was too nice to them.  I’ve been of the opinion that kids should be kept in cages until they are 18 since one of my fellow mutants felt the need to use a claw hammer on another one of my fellow mutants over a difference of opinion on color.  It was truly driven home when an entire large group of my fellow mutants decided to try and stone another fellow mutant over the basis of a bunch of rumors that upset the power structure.  

Humans are primates, just like apes.  Apes are just more evolved, apparently.  Nowhere is this behavior more apparent then in the behavior of our children.  As much as I rail against our bad habits as adults, these habits are more pronounced and more vicious, more primal somehow, in children.  If you people are running fingernails on a chalkboard, and you are, the children are an infinite number of fingernails running across infinite numbers of chalkboards.  The sheer cruelty that these little fucking monsters generate in their quest to satisfy their id puts the greediest Robber Baron to shame.

Truly, the saddest part of that fact, is that we encourage them, we MAKE them like this.  Every parent wants to see their child do better then they did.  Most of them succeed, but not in the ways they wish.  They teach them every bad habit, every dirty trick, then get surprised and disappointed when their kids are better assholes then they are.

I guess you could say I hate bad parents, not kids.

Truthfully, I hate them both.  The parents for making them, and the kids for being.

Too bad there are 6.2 billion of them out there.

So, no real improvement

Welcome to 2006.  It’s another year, ripe with possibility to transform your life and the world through your actions.

So of course, not single one of you fucktards will bother.  It’s too easy to just keep doing the same old shit.  Nothing that even smacks of altering your perfect existence, chock full of violence, mental illness, crime, war, etc., will you consider.

That’s really the problem.  No one really wants to be inconvenienced or made uncomfortable.  People bitch at the Oil Industry for not having enough processing facilities, but refuse to let them build more because it might be nearby.  There are plenty of reasons to hate the Oil Industry, but you blame them for situations you make.  

Yes, I know that they are loath to expand processing facilities because more supply would drive down prices.  But I also know that when they try to build a new one, you people freak the fuck out because it might be nearby.

I’m not here to defend Big Business.  I just feel like pointing out the fact that people are often a root cause for their own misery.

So, welcome to the new year.  I’m sure you’ll fuck it up just like you did the last one.

Good work, assholes.