Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Get A Helmet

I know it's been awhile, but life has been too good for me to complain.

That is going to end.

I'm not certain if you have heard about the new Ken Burns documentary The War. So far, it's been pretty good.

Of course, people have to fuck it up.

You can read about the debate here. The important point about this, and why it stirs up my hatred, is the potential meddling by the FCC. If ever there was a governmental organization proven more useless and valueless in the history of the world, I've yet to find it. However, the real problem is not the FCC. They are just the instrument. The problem is the miserable collection of morons out there who are bitching about foul language in a documentary about WAR. As if, somehow, that is important. What really earns my ire is the willingness of these people to make decisions for me. They don't want their little precious Johnny to hear any foul language, so they complain until no one gets to hear it. You know what? Televisions come with magical things call OFF-SWITCHES. Perhaps these Helicopter Parents (and oh, how I love that term) should learn how to use them. Or maybe, just maybe they could figure out how to change the channel. Something like that. After all, there are innumerable ways for them to avoid exposure.

Their children are THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. Not yours, or mine, or the federal government's. I have no issue providing funding for education, or health care or any of that for kids, or adults for that matter. This is another matter altogether.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Pure Frikkin' Genius

I tell you, every so often I read something that makes me smile.

This made me smile and realize that I still have far too many sympathies for you people.

This is pure hate! Enjoy!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

WTF is wrong with you people?

Seriously. I ask this question because I know you have made comic Dane Cook popular.

Let me break this to you: Dane Cook is NOT FUCKING FUNNY. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

He's a frat boy who amuses other frat boys. Period. If you think Dane Cook is funny, something is wrong with you, above and beyond the normal idiocy and sheep like behavior I associate with humans.

Bill Hicks was funny. Sam Kinison was funny. Lenny Bruce is fucking hilarious.

Dane Cook is not. Nothing you can say will change that.

Sin City Indeed

So I spent last weekend in Vegas for a Bachelor party.

Yes, I have friends.

Yes, one of them is stupid enough to get married.

It was a good time, all in all, with only brief periods of hate. These periods of hate are caused, as always, by the presence of other people. The thing that inspired most of the hate was, shock and amazement, children and parents.

Who the fuck brings kids to Vegas? Did they somehow miss the fucking ads? "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Vegas is not family friendly. You get ads for prostitutes walking along the Strip.

Yet these idiots bring their kids here. Are they too fucking lazy or poor to hire a sitter for the two days they are blowing the kid's college funds on "Wheel of Fortune" slot machines? I don't get it.

The most poignant example of this was in the room next to us. Someone there had an infant. When I say an infant, I mean an infant. This thing could not have been more than a few months old. The reason I know this is because it would scream. A lot. In that distinctive voice that only an infant can make. For what seemed like hours. Whenever we were trying to sleep.

I hate this child for its voice.

I hate the parents more for two reasons. First, I hate them for having the thing in the first place. I know, by virtue of the fact that they are human, that these people are stupid and ignorant. So, of course, they fucking spawn another idiot. Secondly, I hate them for IGNORING THE FUCKING THING. That's right. The fucking mutant would start its shriek. And it would shriek, and shriek, and shriek. The source of this sound, so clearly audible through the thin walls at the MGM Grand (as a sidenote, I love hearing people having sex while trying to get to the elevator), never moved. No one would come to pick up the child, or attempt to soothe it in any way.

And we wonder why we are so fucked up as a country?

God, I hate fucking parents.