Friday, June 30, 2006

Just A Reminder....

...that I hate your kids. And when I say "your kids", I do, in fact, mean YOUR KIDS. It does not matter who you are. If you have kids I hate them. I ESPECIALLY hate them on airplanes. Because nothing makes being trapped in a cramped metal tube for 6 hours better than someone's little fucking mutant screaming the entire way.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Gates of Hell

I am traveling again. I hate Airports. I hate them for multiple reasons. First, an airport is a place where many people congregate. This means more opportunities to interact with every bad habit and stupid human trick that infuriates me. This lasts for hours due to interminable lines punctuated with limitless incompetence. While at Sky Harbor early yesterday morning, I was in line to check in (so that I could get the little slip of paper that allowed me to stand in line for security, so I could stand in line to get on the plane). The moron behind me somehow could not grasp a basic concept from physics: two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Wherever I put my luggage, he tried to put his. Only after mine was there. For like 5 minutes. I think he finally got the hint when I kicked his suitcase over.

Second, all an Airport does is allow me to get crammed like a motherfucking sardine into a shiny metal tube with a ton of other people. This seems like such a great idea. Let's put a hundred rude, obnoxious and idiotic people into tiny, cramped seats, and then make them stay there for 6 hours. I am amazed there are fewer instances of assault on planes.

Everytime I fly these days, I feel like Ed Norton's character in Fight Club. I can see the roof of the plane peel off, and a feeling almost like relief washes over me. But then I remember that I have bills to pay, and go back to trying to sleep.

And I have to do it all again. Tomorrow. At O'Hare. If most airports are like Hell, O'Hare is what they imitate.

I think I start driving everywhere soon. At least I can yell at other travelers without being arrested.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I'm back!

It's been awhile, and I've been busy, so I'm not sorry about not posting in this space.
You try doing your master's degree and working overtime and see how much you like it.

Why the fuck am I justifying myself to you assholes?

Anyway, there has been plenty to frustrate me lately, and the fires of my hatred for anything with 46 Chromosomes burn brighter than ever.

So now that I have some time, I will feel free to start reminding you all of how much you all suck, and how much nicer the world will be if I don't have to share it with you.

You may now resume your drab, wretched lives.