Sunday, January 29, 2006

Stabby Stabby Fucking Stabby

Yes, the title is stolen. Smarter people then I wrote it. It still conveys my feelings pretty accurately.

I remember an old issue of XFactor written during the height of Peter David's participation in comics (illustrated by a young Joe Quesada, incidentally). In it, he covers an interesting psychological interview with Quicksilver, who tried to render an analogy expressing his frustration and impatience with the human race. The character reminds the psychologist of people who take too long at the ATM, and how that frustrates everyone. He then points out, that is the world he lives in ALL THE TIME. He's dealing with people who move, think, and act a million times slower then he does.

I understand his feeling. No, I'm not smarter or better then the rest of you. I can just see how fucked up we all are, and the frustration is similar, because no one else seems to.

The sad thing is this, to be a misanthrope, one must be an optimist after a fashion. The frustration and rage come from seeing where people could go, and then where they choose to go.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Death Race 2000

So who fucking taught you people to drive, anyway? Boy, you surely do suck.

I made the commute from Phoenix to Tucson this morning. Anyone who drives I-10 in this stretch of the country can tell you that the length between those two cities is as close to hell as you are going to find. Its not too bad when you are inbetween the cities, but get to close to either one, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

What strikes me as funny (okay, it doesn't so much strike me as funny as drive me into a homical rage) is how you think that cutting me off is going to get you to work that much faster. This morning, everytime traffic packed up near an on-ramp, some dumb fuck, which I count as just about everyone, would end up riding the shoulder to get ONE MORE CAR LENGTH AHEAD. I guess creating serious disruptions for the other drivers and magnifying the risk we all take hurtling along like lemmings in shiny metal boxes is worth it. Somehow.

This highlights one of my great complaints about humanity. For all of our talk about community and the human race, all it takes is a minor bit of discomfort or irritation for any of us to be willing to risk serious death or injury to other humans. Freeway and highway traffic is the perfect example of this behavior. People cruise along, doing whatever they like to with no real acknowledgement or observation of how their actions and their behaviors affect those around them. How many times have we seen some fucktard driving 10 miles below the speed limit in the middle lane, completely ignorant of how they disrupt the natural flow of traffic as people coming up behind them are forced to change lanes to continue their travel? Or the useless waste of skin who gets into the left lane on the highway and just STAYS THERE, unwilling to get back into the travel lane out of the passing lane? Were these people completely dead during their driving test? The driving regulations are one of the few human designed systems that would actually work if everyone followed their precepts. However, it's driving is human behavior in microcosm. You may rarely see acts of a good nature, but generally everyone is interested in only themselves.

Fuck off and die, humanity.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Fuck off

I know I haven't posted in a while. I also know that no one really cares if I post or not. Good. Its about time it started to penetrate your stony skulls. I felt certain at least a few of you still had a brain cell or two that you could use to comprehend.

To explain my absence (mostly to myself when I look over the archives later), I simply say I was working. When your career is in IT, that speaks volumes. I love my job. It would be a great job if it weren't for all the fucking users. Why do we let people have computers? I mean really? In this day and age it is almost as dangerous as giving a toddler a loaded weapon. And before any of you NRA nutjobs start mouthing off, I'm not in favor of gun control. In fact, I giggle a little bit evy time someone shoots someone else, regardless of the rest of the story. But, like my forthcoming rant of hate against God and his fanclubs, that one will have to wait for me to give a shit again. Anyway, these people have no idea what they are doing. It's not that they are inexperienced or what not. Some of these people have used a computer for years. How do you use something for years and NOT GET ANY FUCKING BETTER AT USING IT?

Further proof that humanity is waste of perfectly good carbon.

I hope, when we finally do shuffle off the coil as a species, we make good petroleum for some other spieces down the road.

So, to all of you computer incompetents, including those with Doctorates in Engineering, Fuck Off and Die. I am tired of coming up with last minute solutions to impossible problems created by you fucking people.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Dead Babies!

So I’m in class right now.  There is nothing worse then being in class fro 8 hours.  On a Saturday.  And spending the first 3 hours taking an exam.  No exam should take 3 hours.  It’s morally wrong.

Yeah, I know I don’t give a shit about morals.  It just kind of sucks spending my day being bored out of my skull.  This master’s program is normally fairly interesting, but cramming cost accounting into 2 weeks just doesn’t fly.  There are CPA’s that make careers out of this shit.

Anyway, I was thinking about the abortion debate.  I truly do not comprehend why there is a debate.  Of course, I believe there is no Sky Bully, so it might skew my views a bit.  The continued existence of this issue as so divisive is somewhat astounding.

I’m not going to bother pounding out logical reasons for or against abortion.  There are plenty of people out there who spend their lives doing just that.  So if you came here looking for logic or structured arguments, you can just fuck right off.  You are in the wrong place.

Really, who the fuck cares about this?  If this issue motivates you, one way or the other, you have too much fucking time on your hands.  Seriously.  You should realize there is shit out there that actually matters.  Abortion does not matter one fucking iota.  The world goes on.  Society does not end.  We do not end up running with Mad Max if abortion goes on, or if it stops.  

I mean, you know my opinion.  Anything that allows for fewer screaming little mutants is a good thing.  Beyond that, fuck it.  In a world as spectacularly fucked as ours, this is WAAAAAAY down the totem pole here assholes.  Truthfully, its used more as a tool to motivate armies of bored born-again housewives who can’t seem to realize that this shit has happened since the dawn of human civilization.  Sometimes with an established medical procedure, other times with a good quick kick to the gut.  It’s not going anywhere.  Your political party won’t allow it go anywhere, either one.  The GOP certainly won’t, because then a large section of their support might actually pay attention to the rest of their platform and realize what cocks they are.  The Democrats won’t either.  It’s too good at filling the coffers to support resistance against the conservative movements.  Both camps of political representatives (no, I’m not counting Libertarians, because, well, get serious…) use the issue as a hot potato to keep people on the ball or supporting the team.  It’s like a professional sports game.  The team owners don’t care who wins, only that they make ticket sales.  

So guess what, Pro-Lifer retards and Pro-Choice zealots!  Your issue is a political football!  No one you vote for really gives a shit about RESOLVING the actual issue.  You are content to be used to keep these whores in office.

Yet another reason people suck.  Of all the things to put energy into, this is the kind of shit that fires you up and gets you moving.

That and violent video games.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Little Fucking Mutants

So now its all pretty much over.  The holidays are past, and we can face the pain and horror of the new year with...something in our hearts.  This time of the year provides us an opportunity to reflect, and to share those reflections, to share our lives with those about whom we care.  Many people will share little updates about their lives and how their kids are doing and what not.  Which brings me to the point.

No one fucking cares about your kids, except you.

If I had a nickel for every stupid fucking email filled with updates about some loathsome twat’s mutant offspring, I could buy and sell aircraft carriers for fun.  This irritates the living shit out of me.  I didn’t want to know the little shits were still alive, but people just have to fucking share.  If I want to see the next generations mindless automatons, all I need to do is open a window.  Your kids are no fucking different.  I know you like to think that they are wonderful and precious and special.  They just aren’t.  They’re stupid, just like you.  They’re completely self absorbed, just like you.  In fact, the only things that really separate adults from children are the following:
  1. Children have more creative lies

  2. We have better bladder control
Any other differences are cosmetic, relative, or bullshit.  Sorry folks.  Actually, I’m not sorry at all.  You should be, for having the little freaks in the first place.

Somehow, every holiday season becomes an orgy in the Cult of The Child, where everything must be about the precious little mutant lumps.  Normally I hate children.  During the holidays, I wish I was the 10th plague and we were all Egyptians.  

That guy, who adopted those kids, then kept them in cages?  He had the right idea, only he was too nice to them.  I’ve been of the opinion that kids should be kept in cages until they are 18 since one of my fellow mutants felt the need to use a claw hammer on another one of my fellow mutants over a difference of opinion on color.  It was truly driven home when an entire large group of my fellow mutants decided to try and stone another fellow mutant over the basis of a bunch of rumors that upset the power structure.  

Humans are primates, just like apes.  Apes are just more evolved, apparently.  Nowhere is this behavior more apparent then in the behavior of our children.  As much as I rail against our bad habits as adults, these habits are more pronounced and more vicious, more primal somehow, in children.  If you people are running fingernails on a chalkboard, and you are, the children are an infinite number of fingernails running across infinite numbers of chalkboards.  The sheer cruelty that these little fucking monsters generate in their quest to satisfy their id puts the greediest Robber Baron to shame.

Truly, the saddest part of that fact, is that we encourage them, we MAKE them like this.  Every parent wants to see their child do better then they did.  Most of them succeed, but not in the ways they wish.  They teach them every bad habit, every dirty trick, then get surprised and disappointed when their kids are better assholes then they are.

I guess you could say I hate bad parents, not kids.

Truthfully, I hate them both.  The parents for making them, and the kids for being.

Too bad there are 6.2 billion of them out there.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

So, no real improvement

Welcome to 2006.  It’s another year, ripe with possibility to transform your life and the world through your actions.

So of course, not single one of you fucktards will bother.  It’s too easy to just keep doing the same old shit.  Nothing that even smacks of altering your perfect existence, chock full of violence, mental illness, crime, war, etc., will you consider.

That’s really the problem.  No one really wants to be inconvenienced or made uncomfortable.  People bitch at the Oil Industry for not having enough processing facilities, but refuse to let them build more because it might be nearby.  There are plenty of reasons to hate the Oil Industry, but you blame them for situations you make.  

Yes, I know that they are loath to expand processing facilities because more supply would drive down prices.  But I also know that when they try to build a new one, you people freak the fuck out because it might be nearby.

I’m not here to defend Big Business.  I just feel like pointing out the fact that people are often a root cause for their own misery.

So, welcome to the new year.  I’m sure you’ll fuck it up just like you did the last one.

Good work, assholes.