Sunday, August 06, 2006

Why Highways suck

As with most things in the world, this is a pretty obvious answer: because there are people using it.

I took a trip to Flagstaff last weekend to help some friends move. The trip up was two of the worst hours I have ever spent on the highway. Did any of you worthless fucks bother to even show up to Driver's Ed? Or even LOOK AT THE FUCKING MANUAL ONCE IN YOUR LIFE? For fuck's sake, don't park your ass in the passing lane (that's the left lane for those of you morons who don't know - and given what I saw last weekend, that would be ALL of you). Also, when you go to pass another vehicle, FUCKING PASS THEM. Don't kinda sorta maybe pass them. STEP ON THE FUCKING GAS AND GET PAST THEM! Here is another clue for you fatally stupid fuckers: your car contains many convenient devices, like, say, FUCKING MIRRORS. Consider using them. They are amazing devices. They allow you to see in places not directly in front of you. Therefore, you can be aware of your surroundings and see cars to the left and right of you, and traffic behind you. You can use this information to adjust your driving to deal with circumstances as they change. Therefore, you won't cut me off, and you might get out of my when I come up behind you.

God, I fucking hate you people.


John said...

At the risk of sound like I'm repeating myself with the "parents/ breeders", let's look at the two major types of people operating vehicles: Drivers (you and me) and 'aimers' (everyone else?).
Drivers keep right, use the left lane to pass, keep within a reasonable speed (e.g. 60 in a 55 while others do 70 to 80), use signals, full stop at stop sign, use headlights to see AND BE SEEN, etc.
Aimers get in the car, start it, and head in the general direction they're travelling. Right turns from left turn lanes, and left turns from right turn lanes, etc.


Jimmy The Hutt said...

That's pretty much the theme. There are about 15% of the human race that deserve continued existence for a variety of reasons. The common thread is that they are fucking morons who can't or won't think.

John said...

How about a few words for the people who 'kill time' in line BSing and then wait till they get to the Checkstand, then look at the menu for the first time?