Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas! I hope you suffer!

Well, Christmas is here. Let me say, “Bah. Humbug!”

I hate Christmas. Not like, I really don’t like Christmas. I truly, deeply, and permanently loath this fucking holiday. No other single time of the year presents every single reason for the extermination of the human race so succinctly. Every singly horrible little thing humanity can do, we do it now. The supposed season of peace and love is transformed with remarkable speed into stampedes over little old ladies to get one of the last $79.00 DVD players at the local fucking Walmart. Nothing, not a single fucking thing, will prevent people from engaging in the overindulgence that accompanies every holiday season. Do you realize that retailers lose money all year round, banking on making a profit for the year over a 4 week season? Does it dawn on you how easily you are manipulated into cheerfully participating? Over the preceding weeks I’ve watched as humanity’s true nature has popped to the forefront in a vulgar orgy of consumerism. No one gives a flying fornication at an undulating pastry for peace or love. They just don’t want to feel guilty about not buying shit. Or they want to feel superior about outspending someone. We cut each other off in traffic, hinder others journeys to important places, just so we can get to the mall or the fucking Best Buy a few minutes sooner. Because we all know the fucking world is going to end if you don’t pick up that HD TV while its on sale. This isn't a rant against consumerism. Consumerism wouldn't exist if we weren't so eager to do it in the first place. Its not the shopping, its not the marketing. It's us. They just give us what we ask for. Fucking reprehensible. If you want to see what humanity is like, I mean really, go watch shoppers at Christmas time. That’s what we are folks. Hate to break it to you, but that’s it. You are a greedy, self-indulgent twat (regardless of gender) and your offspring are mal-adjusted little mutants.

I hope your Christmas presents catch fire and you all get burned horrible, but you live.

Maybe you can buy your way out of that, fuckers.


Combat Doc said...

The only reason for them to live is to reel at the loss of their consumerist efforts. Keep blogging!!!

Rene said...

Here, here! I've seen more aggression and petty spitefullness during this time of year than any other. Walmart... *shivers*

I think I just thew up in my mouth a little.